I have no joy….

JoyI was in the kitchen the other day and my youngest looks at me and says “What’s the matter Mom?  Are you sad”  I told her there was nothing wrong and she said, “Oh yeah, you have no Joy right now, I forgot.”  Everyone in my house, my friend and people at work know how hard this has been for me! This hormonal reset is really, really hard.

I did have some joy last weekend, I spent it with my husband and father.  I enjoyed the beach, being with my dad, and hanging with the hubby, but eating was not very joyful and eating out was really difficult.   Not having driving snacks and a beer was a bummer too. 😦  My life is not as sad as I am making it seem right now, there are still good things, but eating is such a wonderful thing for me and when I can’t just eat anything I want, that is when it become joyless.

As I start today, I am on day 10 of the 21 day reset your hormone diet.  I am serious when I say all the Joy in my life has gone away, I feel like I am punishing myself daily and I know I am sounding a bit dramatic, but I really feel down.  But the dedicated, committed person I am, won’t allow me to quit!  Why would I?  I have almost made it halfway through the 21 days.  I have never been on a harder diet, this one is kicking my sorry ass!  Who can’t eat fruit on a diet?  Who has ever heard of such a thing, but it’s not recommended I do that, to much sugar, too much fructose, all the stuff that brings me joy, settles in the middle region of my body and I don’t want that anymore.  coffee

Today starts no caffeine for 3 days and pretty much for the rest of the 21 days.  I have been reading her book and it’s not real clear but I think the things you give up during each three days, you are to continue to go without until you finish the whole 21 days.  If I wrote the book, the torture would only be 3 days at a time and we would still all be fat I am sure. 🙂  Of the the 3 things I have already given up, caffeine I was surprised to find is the hardest for me.  I read in the book how caffeine causes you to be off your game, and yada yada, but I find when I am OFF caffeine, I am fuzzy,not myself and I can barely keep my head off my desk.  I went outside during lunch to feel the sun on my skin and that helped a little bit, but I am still bone tired.  Once I got home I was so tired I didn’t want to do my work out, but I toughed my way through it and finished, then I laid on my bed and I fell asleep for about 10 minutes.  That is unusual for me, I often feel I can sleep but I never do.

I don’t want to eat anymore spinach, I have had it for lunch all week, with the exception of Wed when I had two hamburger patties and a regular salad.  It was good and kept me full through the day.  I am still not snacking, like the book tells you to do when you give up fructose and I am finding that I am making it about 5 hours between meals and not starving when it’s time to eat.  Could fruit be my true downfall in trying to lose weight, sugar for sure, but FRUIT?  I am just not sure about that but I am starting to wonder.

I started the HIIT and I have done it for three days this week, I skipped Yoga on Wednesday to do it, I was just not in the mood to do Yoga for some reason so I didn’t go.  This workout is pretty hard for the little time I do it.  I found out, thanks to MiCoach that I am a very slow walker, I could not keep up in the “GreenZone” when I was walking.  I know it’s new and I will build up my endurance, but if anyone truly knows me, I want to get something the first time out of the gate and when it’s hard, I tend to want to bail on the whole thing.  But I am a new woman now and I am not going to bail I am going to keep going.

The good news is…..I have lost 3 inches around my belly area!!!  Whoo Hoo!  I chickened out last week and did not weigh myself, I might do it at the end of this diet and see where I am, but that is not a promise. 😉  I was very happy with the inches, that is a lot for me, my clothes are fitting looser I am not hungry, like the book said I would not be, and I am hyper aware of how much sugar goes into things and I am convinced it’s the devil. Don’t get me wrong, I can live with the devil in my life, it just won’t rule my life anymore.

The recipe below is something I have been eating the last 4 nights, it’s really good for you and super easy, you should try it out;

Heavenly QuinoaIMG_5361

1 cup uncooked quinoa

2 cups water or organic broth

Pinch of salt

4 pieces of smoked wild salmon (You can substitute salmon for tempeh or organic chicken or fish)


¼ cup extra-virgin olive oil

2 tbsp balsamic vinegar, red wine, or apple cider vinegar

1 tsp brown mustard

½ tsp smoked paprika

½ tsp ground chipotle

½ tsp turmeric

½ red pepper

¼ med red onion

¼ cup sliced mushrooms

¼ cup broccoli cut up makes a better ¼ cup

¼ cup of kale or spinach

Cook the quinoa as directed.  As the quinoa is cooking make the dressing.  Add quinoa to a bowl and all the veggies, pour on dressing and top with salmon.  Makes 4 servings.

I am a little worried about the stress I have had this week at work affecting my cortisol, because not having the caffeine for the 3 days is suppose to help the cortisol not rise, so I am hoping for the best.

That is all for this week, I will let you know how it goes the rest of the week, no dairy, grains and toxins!  But hey! I am almost done those, are the last things I have to give up starting on Sunday so my joy will come back again.  I will be happy to eat normally again at the end of this, but I will be wiser about what I eat for sure.  I will be more mindful with the things I choose to eat and drink.
Take care of you!


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